It’s Not too Late to Create a Career You Love | Chasing Curiosity and Sharing Boundless Insights from Ideas that Matter
Episode Details
Transcript
Today we talk to Alyx Parks — fly fishing guide, TV host, career coach, photographer, professor, and the self-proclaimed “girl who falls in frog ponds”.
For most of us, the idea of creating a career out of what we love is a promise we gave up on long ago. But Alyx is living proof it can be done. And she’s here to show us it’s not too late to shape a career — and a life — that actually feels like you.
In this episode, we talk about the importance of conviction over confidence, how to answer, “what do you do?” in a way that makes people pay attention, and her lessons from the river that guide her work and her life. We also dive into burnout, imposter syndrome, personal branding, and why we need to rethink our Mondays.
If you’ve ever felt like your job no longer fits, or maybe that you’re running out of time to finally find a career that suits you, this conversation is for you.
Please enjoy, Alyx Parks.
Key Takeaways:
- Conviction over confidence: You don’t need to feel confident to move forward — just have conviction in who you are and what lights you up. The confidence will follow.
- “I’m the girl who falls in frog ponds”: Alyx shares how reframing the way you introduce yourself can open doors and make people truly listen.
- The 'why tree' exercise: A powerful way to go deeper into your values and passions to build a more authentic personal brand — from the inside out.
- Say “okay,” not “yes”: You don’t need to feel 100% ready. Just be open. A lot of Alyx’s best adventures began with an “okay, I’ll try.”
- Lessons from the river: Fly fishing is full of metaphors — about uncertainty, learning by doing, casting even when you can’t see what’s under the surface.
- The power of “Mediocre Mondays”: You don’t have to crush it every Monday. Permission to show up as you are and reset.
- We only accept the love we think we deserve: A beautiful reminder to stop pushing away compliments and start seeing yourself the way others already do.
- You are the bubble: We often chase a feeling of safety, energy, or connection — but that feeling can come from you. Let people into your world.
Links and Resources:
Alyx on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alyxparks/
Alyx’s website: https://www.ontarioflygirl.com/
Alyx on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ontarioflygirl/?hl=en
Alyx on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk2DJldSE7hhQTU8rjNHeYw
Connect with Bob Mathers
Alyx
I teach people fishing is not catching. And so the first lesson is to actually understand how you walk in a river that's alive, that is raging in some capacities, has a current that you're not necessarily used to, how you read the water, you know, like, where are the pools where the fish live? So the lessons here is, sure, it's about fishing, but it's all about how are you navigating an environment that you're not necessarily used to. Bob
Welcome to the Growth Mixtape podcast, and I'm your host, Bob Mathers. If you've ever felt like you should be doing more with your life by now and are running out of time to do it, you're in the right place. I talk to ordinary people doing extraordinary things, and I leave you with two or three specific changes you can make to start living a bigger life right now. I'm really excited for you to hear this conversation with Alex Parks. For ninety nine percent of us, the idea of having a career built from our true passions is a fairy tale, a myth we've given up on long ago. But Alex has done it. She's a fly fishing guide, TV host, photographer, professor, and a career coach that helps others build the career of their dreams at any age. I really wish I had met Alex thirty years ago, but she's got me convinced. It's time to go. Please enjoy Alex Parks. Alex Parks. Here we go. Welcome to the show. Alyx
Thank you. Here we go. It's happening. Here we are. Bob Mathers. Bob
It sure is. By the way, I've never asked you. Did you ever get a story from your parents about why your name is y x instead of e x? Alyx
Oh, no. This is where we're starting. Everyone's gonna know that I'm a fraud. This is the the place to be right now. But my name I I spell it with a y. And so the origin story is this. My, I grew up in for nine years. I'm born in Canada, then I moved to the US because my mom remarried. And so I grew up in Pennsylvania for my younger years, then we moved to North Carolina, and I thought, enough. I must go back to Canada to be with my dad for the last remaining years of of high school, and I've stayed ever since. But my whole family actually calls me Ali. And so my name has been Ali Parks for the longest time, but my dad was the only person who had called me Alex. And so when I was moving away this is actually such a good personal brand origin story. But when I was moving away back to be with my dad, I didn't wanna lose the name Ali. And so I ended up just smashing the two names together, so I was two in one. And so, hi. I'm Alex Parks. I fall in frog ponds, and I spell my name with a y. I'm a fraud, but I'm a personal branding connoisseur. And why not actually just shove two things that you are together and then let it be? Bob
Yeah. I had no idea it would be such an interesting story. I just thought you'd you know? Well, we're Dutch, and that's how they spell it, you know, there or something. That's so cool. Alyx
So not Dutch. Bob
Yeah. There's something about Alex with a y that seems very you somehow. Alyx
I'm a little wild. I'm a little crazy. You know? Maybe that's why. Bob
Yeah. So I've been reflecting on I've been looking forward to this conversation. I've been re you know, kind of reflecting on what it is about it that I'm so excited about. There's a couple of things. One, you and I met maybe a year or so ago. We've chatted a half a dozen times since then. And every time we talk, I come away with some, you know, lightning bolt insight about myself or my life or something new I should be doing. And so I'm just genuinely excited to press record and see what happens. But this idea of blending our passions and our work is something you spend a lot of time talking about. Your life is an amazing example of it, and I think it's something that a lot of us have kind of given up on. So I'm really excited to see and to have people hear about how maybe it's not too late to do something really cool that's not just the job we kind of fell into, but the job or some sort of life that we've always wanted for ourselves. Something like that. Alyx
Mhmm. Mhmm. You know, I love I love this topic, obviously. I talk about it all the time. You know? And you've said a couple things about you know, it's almost like we've given up. And I'm gonna I'm gonna shoot right back and say, no. You haven't. You know? It's it's what are you doing when you're not working? I mean, Bob, you run. You know, you're somebody who is super active. You play music. You know? And it's it's one of those things that it's just a hobby of yours. And so the question is, well, how are you taking those hobbies, the things that you love to do that you just are like, you know what? I'm gonna spend my time doing this, not because you got hired or because you're trying to be somebody and go up in the ranks and make money, money, money. It's like, I'm choosing with my time off to do this thing. You know? And so how do we just take that and try and put it together with what you currently do, whether it's through your job, you know, or storytelling about how this connects with what I've decided to do for my job? You know, for example, you are so fascinating because you are a literal builder of experiences. You know? You are in customer success. You're a coach. You're a speaker. You're, like, literally one of the most fantastic people I've ever met. You also are somebody who likes to play music and build an experience that's auditory for people so that they can sit back and go, damn. That was a nice piece of music. You know, it's the same thing. It's the same thing with what you do as a hobby and what you do for work. And so all I want is for you to pick up that thing, play a little bit of music, while actually going ahead and teaching you the best things that you could possibly teach because they're the same. That is the foundation and essence of what I think is personal branding. Forget all the noise about, like, what's on LinkedIn and how to actually go and, like, write the perfect piece of content and how my signature and my branding looks. How do you actually talk about yourself? How do you feel about yourself? I think you are the coolest person ever, and I'm gonna show you. That's what you need to take and accept, and that's that's the stick. That's the best part of being you. Bob
Well yeah. See? I told you. Lightning bolts all over the place. I love all of that. The and, so there's a couple of things I definitely wanna circle back on that. Before we do, one of the things that you help people do is come up with a really great answer for the question that all of us have been asked a thousand times at a cocktail party. What do you do for a living? And so when people ask you that, what do you say? Alyx
Oh, no. You know, I I I laugh. And one of the first thing I will always do is probably laugh and go, oh god. You know, this is the ultimate question. The one where you're supposed to shove yourself into a bucket and get people to be like, that one. That one's cool. You know? And so I always like to start answers or or ask people to to begin this answer with what you actually just love about yourself. And and that's hard. Right? And so this is really something that can trip people up for a long time because trying to find something they love about themselves and tell other people is super, super vulnerable. And so how I like to answer this is I am the girl who falls in frog ponds all of the time. You know? And the audience will look at me and go, what? You know? Or I'll ask a question. You know? Have you ever fallen into a frog pond? And they'll go, no. Why is she asking me this? You know? But this is the window. Right? This is the window that you're busting open or I am exploding outward so people could take a look at me just a little bit more so they can understand what I'm about to say. I'm the person that goes and goes to Home Depot and will fall on the frog pond because I am so interested in what's in those waters. It's the same thing with what I've decided to do. I like to guide people into finding the best versions of themselves by going outside and then pulling those learnings into their career so that they could live wilder, more fulfilled careers and and lives. And so it's so interesting to be able to connect, connect, connect, and to say something kind of funny and offhand about yourself that people aren't expecting because all of a sudden, it makes them lean in and go, where the hell is she going with this? And that is what I want. That's what I want for you to be able to to do and to achieve. Just be a little bit wilder with some of the things that you go out and say, you know, and see what happens. See if people laugh, see if people look at you a little bit funny, but then follow it up with the conviction that I am somebody who will allow you to see the best version of who you are and tell that story so that people cannot forget you. That's the energy that you're looking to harness. And when you're struggling with what do you do or tell me about yourself, all you need to do is bring up all of these interesting pieces and slam them together. That's the formula. Bob
When people ask that question, they're not it's it's just like one of those things like, how are you, you know, how are you doing, or how's your day? Like, they're not really expecting an answer like that. They're just and they're probably not even really paying attention. Responding with something like, I'm the girl that, you know, falls in frog ponds is like, it's sorta it's inviting them into a conversation. It's like, oh, yeah. This is this is not what you were expecting. Right? And it's and it's just very immediately gonna shock people out of that kind of mundane small talk and start a conversation about something that's actually really interesting and intriguing and brings them into the process. So I'm gonna think more about that. There's a lot there. Alyx
I mean, for you, I think it would be so interesting to start that with you know, have you ever got up on stage and just started playing guitar or, you know, for the first time, went out and did karaoke and just put yourself out there? And then I would go, yeah. I did that once. That was that was something. You know? And so now I'm feeling vulnerable because I'm laughing going, yeah. Yeah. That was a good time. But now we've got a lot of information that we can bounce back and forth from each other because it started life heartedly. I hate when people are like, so what do you do? You know, it's like, well, why not ask me, you know, what are some of the most interesting things that you're working on right now? Because all of a sudden, I'm now gonna go, you know what? Let me think of all the cool projects that I'm working on that I'm really excited about instead of have to tell you, like, what I do. You know? Do you wanna know that, or do you wanna know some of the cool things that I'm actively doing? Is it just with work? I mean, outside of work, I'm I go fly fishing. I teach people how to fly fish. I take pictures of owls all the time. I'm a television show host. You know, I'm a professor as well, and I teach organizational behavior. Is that interesting? I don't know. But how I got there is interesting. I went out and played golf for the first time, met the DNF Mohawk College. Sick. Right? There's experiences here more than anything. And so I'm gonna tell everybody listening, you know, before you go ahead and ask somebody, you know, well, tell me about yourself or what do you do. Ask them instead. You know? What are some really cool things that you're working on right now or that you just are loving that you're doing? And just see them light up. It's gonna allow you, the actor, to light up as well, and then you're gonna have a conversation like this that gets us laughing and then instantly connecting. Bob
Yeah. So part of this is, you know, when we talk about blending our passions and our work together, you've done this probably as well, if not better than anyone I've ever met. You mentioned you host a TV show. You're a fly fishing guide. Yeah. You're a college professor, and you're a photographer, all of which you get paid to do. And if you told most people, yeah, you know, name your top three or four hobbies in the world, and you're gonna build a career out around those things, they'd be like, yeah. That's I don't see how that's gonna happen. So how did this happen for you? Alyx
You know, I'm afraid to say that I don't have, you know, a really interesting answer to this, you know, from what I think. You know, I I fell into this, and I just said not yes, but I just said, okay. And so the origin story of all of this probably starts with fly fishing. You know? And so this is that typical, oh, you know, her dad owns a fly fishing business in Southern Ontario. She just gets handed, you know, a fly rod and says, go help people learn. Yeah. That hundred percent happened. But when you take a look at this, fly fishing fly fishing guide, I get paid, then I was asked to be a host or one of the hosts of a television show called the new fly fisher. Oh, she gets paid. What a cool life. You know? Then she goes and does this, and now she gets paid to be a wildlife photographer. You know? There's steps and years of that molding together, and it was never something where I said, I'm gonna make a freaking business out of this. I'm gonna be a boss ass bitch. You know? This was never something that I said. In reality, I had and have the biggest imposter gremlin in the world all of the time on me always. I honestly I tell people I have it in my backpack. You know? But instead of wearing the imposter gremlin in front of me, my backpack is on my chest. I loop it and actually carry it on my back so that I can see clearly and just move forward. And so with fly fishing, you know, and I know we've talked about this before separately because it's such a big deal, but I actually was teaching how people how to fly fish and catch really big fish before I even really did so myself. And to tell you that that's a mind fuck is a mind fuck. Excuse my language, but it is a wild experience to teach somebody to get something that you have never gotten yourself, really. You know? And so the imposter gremlin grew from there, and I was in my early, early twenties. You know? And it started by just my dad needing some help. He had a group of five people, and he couldn't do it himself. And so I said, okay. I'll come out and help. I can do this. You know? And the fact was I wasn't the greatest guide, but I was certainly somebody who was pretty good with people. You know? I was like, hey. I I like to learn too. You know? You're doing a really good job. My love language is words of affirmation, and it's not only the love language I like to receive, but it's also how I give. So, wow, that is an amazing cast. You're totally gonna catch a fish soon. You know? Those things go a really long way to boost morale. We all know that. You know? But it's it's true. And so through that, you just practice. You spend time on the water. You spend time casting towards things you just cannot see and hoping that they'll bite. And, Bob, let me tell you. If that ain't the same damn thing as going and trying to find a job or as trying to switch your career or transforming who you are so that you can catch bigger fish, bigger companies, bigger clients, promotions. This is where I learned how to build what I call the internal, the true conviction personal brand. Right? I spend my time teaching people how to fly fish, and it was wrought with uncertainty and imposter syndrome. But now I really help guide people not only to catch fish or jobs or promotions or clients that they never thought they could achieve, but that they have the conviction that they are actually going to be able to do it even when the fish or other people say no. And to me, that's just the coolest thing because you fall into it. You learn from the things that you've decided to do, and then all of a sudden, there's an outcome that you can see barreling down your life. Things really fall into place after that. But, again, it's not saying yes to everything. I'm not a yes girl. But I'll say okay. Bob
I really love that. You know, this idea and I've talked to other guests on the show about, you know, they're just these people that seem to be open to new experiences and say, yes. I'm gonna do that. Yes. I'm gonna do that. And it does feel a little maybe intimidating. I love the idea. It's like, yes. Feels a little bit much, but okay. I like that. Hey. It's Bob, and I'm taking the growth mixtape on the road in a series of keynote speeches inspired by the stories of my amazing guests. At their core, these signature talks are about how to get you and your teams off autopilot and stop settling for small incremental improvements. This isn't gonna come from spewing business advice. My podcast is full of people that have done incredible things, and every one of them struggles with self doubt, imposter syndrome, and the crippling fear of judgment that holds so many of us back. They've also found ways through it by rediscovering their creativity, their curiosity, and the confidence to do scary things. Imagine the power of bringing these vulnerable stories to life live and on stage to help you and your teams hit your targets, find your voice, and be the rock stars you are. Book me for your next event at bob mathers dot c a. Now back to the show. So you've talked about fishing and the TV show. How do you get into the the career coaching that you do now? Because you do it with such conviction that you that you you've talked about and passion. There's gotta it's got that's gotta come from somewhere. Where does that come from? Alyx
Well, here's another laugh. Again, I just I start so many of my answers by laughing because I just have not been the traditional, like, I'm so successful. I mean, this answer is certainly gonna come from being fired. Like, I mean, I was so fired. You know? And, I'll I'll let everybody into this origin story when it comes to career coaching because it's something that I hope people will find a little bit of of solace in. So I graduated, and I needed a big girl job. I literally remember myself saying that. I need a big girl job. So I'm gonna go on monster dot com, and I'm gonna go and I'm gonna apply to jobs that I have no idea what they are. And there was this job description that was, you know, recruiter needed for the advanced product development market. And I was like, what the hell is that? And that's tech. Right? And so this was back in twenty eleven. And I thought, okay. Whenever. Here's my resume. I worked at Jacob Connection. I worked at retail. It was in North York, an hour or something for me to drive. I ended up having my, interview, and the owner of this boutique, very small, only four of us, our recruitment agency asked me to do a cold call, like, live. I want you to cold call this person and see if they'll talk to you to get a new job. I had no idea what I was doing, so I did. And I ended up getting a hold of the gatekeeper, or the office administrative assistant. And I said, hi. I'm looking to talk to somebody who wants to change their job. Can I get a hold of, you know, Bob? And she was like, fuck you. You know? And slammed slammed the phone down and, oh my god. You know? Being somebody who's now taught sales for a really long time as well, it just makes me laugh. And so, James, the owner of the point, looked at me and he goes, that was really bad. That was really bad. So I left the interview thinking I didn't get it. Long story short, he said, you know, I wanna take a chance on you. I think you've got energy. You know? At that point, I had no energy. I was an idiot. You know? And so, I worked my way up in recruitment. And let me tell you, I hated it. It was the worst job ever. I worked my ass off. I thought this is this is awful. I hate cold calling. But, unfortunately, you know, the owner of the company was going through some, depressive states. And so we were all super close, and, it actually came to a point where I had to ask him, not to take his own life. And so you can quickly start to see that this new job of mine, after about a year, started to become a little bit, traumatic in terms of how somebody was feeling and how they were acting and being and getting to the point where I really needed to ask. Like, please please don't take your own life. And, unfortunately, he did. That next that next or that night and that next morning, I was learning how to dismantle a company as a fresh twenty three, twenty four year old while grieving for somebody who was my very first mentor whom I think about still constantly. You know? And after that, I had to go get recruitment jobs, and so I was fired from two of them, actually, not knowing that I had some trauma that was baked in to recruitment because I just I just had to do it for him. You know? He'd want me to continue recruiting. And, god, you know, if there's anything that I could tell people who are feeling like they hate their jobs right now or they really just don't like what they're doing, there are other ways. There are wilder paths, but that's why Wilder Path was born. You know? Because I quit. I was like, you know what? I can't do this anymore. I have to change my job. I have to take the wilder path and become a UX designer. What the hell? Like, what a what a flip. Right? And so I actually enrolled in a boot camp to teach me UX design so I could get away from feeling the way that I felt. As I was going to learn UX design in the third week of learning, I was like, nope. I don't like this. I'm mad at this. You know? But at the time, what I did like to do was I'd like to tell my classmates, you know, hey. This is how you interview. This is how you do really well at presenting yourself and, trying to get a hold of somebody that you wanna work with. And so CEO at the time, who's still a very good friend of mine, of BitMaker, he, asked if I wanted to be the career coach. And I said, oh, okay. Okay. Not yes. Okay. And so, that's where it was born. And all of a sudden, I became somebody who was coaching others, who was guiding others, who was teaching others at a college level, and and then I I just I just never stopped. This is why Wilder lives because it's just do something that's just a little different. Bob
Yeah. Thanks for sharing that. I mean, it's heartbreaking. It's inspiring. You know? And I think it's easy for people to look at, you know, this girl that falls in frog ponds and gets paid to do the things that she loves to do most in life and think, man, I just wanna be like Alex. And you talk about that, whether it's that imposter that you're carrying around on your backpack or the fear of or that fear feeling of trying to teach someone to fly fish when you haven't caught a trout yet and you're and there's this gnawing insecurity. It's like Alyx
Unrelenting. What Bob
if yeah. Unrelenting. And so we could my point is we can look at Alex and all the awesome things she's done, but make no mistake. It's not like any of that's really gone away. You've just said okay enough times to to be moving in the right direction, and maybe that unrelenting feeling never goes away. Alyx
It doesn't. It doesn't. I mean, when I was asked to, you know, hey. We really like how you present. Will you be, you know, a a host for the show that you've watched for your whole freaking life? I was like, what? No. Shut up. Like, what are you talking about? You know? And and I don't know if if anybody here listening and and you, Bob, you know, have you ever received a compliment? You know? Or let me just say, you know, Bob, I've noticed you are so deeply in tune with the person that you're speaking to. Like, it's like you're instant friends with somebody, and I have no idea how to be that way. You know, I admire you so much and your ability to connect with others. You know, if you hear something like that and that's true, by the way, if you have not met Bob. But have you ever heard something like that and your instant reaction is, what? No. Really? You know? And you question it, and you just you wanna push it away. But why do we do that? Why are we shoving that away from us? Why are we not seeing that? It just makes you think, my god. I'm missing the best parts of me because I haven't asked or I haven't accepted the observation that somebody willingly gave to me. They're not lying. They're true. You know? And so if we can practice that a little bit more, you know, we would see ourselves in such a a wilder light, you know, and use it to our advantage and go, okay. I'll say yes to some of these things. You know? And that's what I did with the show. And they said, yeah. We really like the way you present. I immediately was like, okay. Don't say no. Say, okay. Okay. I'll try. And there we go. Bob
Yeah. Well, in answer to your question, how does it feel? It makes me very emotional to hear those things. And I do think it but it's really interesting, and I know a lot of people can relate to this. When you hear compliments, especially ones as kind of beautifully articulated as as yours, you can try to accept it, but it just seems like it you don't really absorb it. Like, you and I sometimes yeah. Absorb it. Yeah. I don't know. Yes. For sure. But I'm also like, imagine if you could actually walk around every day feeling that way and seeing yourself the way that others see you. Like, there, you'd feel fucking unstoppable instead of this person that was fucking afraid every day. Alyx
Hundred percent. Hundred percent. And and that's the thing. Right? And everybody you know, people might think, well, that's so egotistical. You know? Like, you've got, oh, can you walk through that door? Because your head's so big. You know? I've heard that so much. But it's like, what's the difference? You know? What's the difference between just saying, oh, okay. I am accepting what people are telling me that I'm like. You know? I'm accepting that, and I'm gonna carry it with me, and I'm gonna stuff it in my backpack with the imposter gremlin. You know? That's, like, covering him up just a little bit. Again, I I like to call myself the conviction coach more than anything because I think everybody is so caught up in feeling like they need to find confidence, but confidence is such a hard thing. Like, it's like, what is that? This thing that's over there. I don't have that. You know? You need a little bit more confidence. Or if I just had some confidence or be confident, you'd be so good if you had confidence. These are all such negative things. Such negative things to think about yourself because you're lacking something what people think is important. But so I wanna flip that on its head and say, fuck it. Stop thinking about confidence and start thinking about conviction. Right? I believe that if I do this work, if I research this person enough, if I have a conversation with them, if I am so utterly in tune with my value and my mission of what I wanna do and how I can help others, then confidence is just naturally gonna fall. I'll get off my soapbox. Bob
Yeah. No. I love that. So you mentioned earlier, Alex, just to dig into that a little bit more, you talk about personal branding before. Is something, honestly, I had never heard of before a couple of years ago. I don't think anybody thought about it. I think we brands were like, you know, Apple and Amazon, the things that we buy every day. Now I realize that everybody has a personal brand. If people want to start thinking about how to articulate what's special about them and have a great answer for what do you do for a living, how do they get started? Alyx
Let me just ask you this, Bob. What is personal branding to you? Bob
I do think it's what you wanna be known for, and it's based in an understanding of what you can offer the world that no one else can. Alyx
Interesting. So if you ask many other people this, it's like, what's the definition of professional? Everyone's gonna have a different answer. Right? And so what you had said, it's what I think you wanna be known for, and then you said something that was a little bit more internal. You know? Here are the things that I can offer. Right? And so you're thinking of two lenses. You're thinking of what people see me as and then also what I know I am. And so I wanna actually go and shove away the other people for a second. Stop thinking about them. Because if this piece, the, like, what I know that I am, that's what's going to feed the information that others pick up about you. And so if you're worrying or you're thinking about two different things, well, I this is what I wanna be known for. This is what I believe. But are they matching? Are they matching? Are they matching? You know, you're you're just gonna get so confused. You know? And so this is where conviction really comes into play, and I think that's the foundation of personal branding itself. It's conviction in who you are and what you're doing even when that changes. Right? And so how to get started in trying to figure this out is what I like to call the wise tree, exercise. But I want you to think about yourself as, like, a a a big tree. Maybe it's a fruit tree, you know, an oak that has has nuts on it, you know, acorns. You know, but when you're answering a question, like, tell me about yourself, you know, the most common thing to say or to think is, oh, how do I explain this? I only have a couple seconds to capture somebody in that moment so that they're interested. You know what? I'm just gonna say something high level. I'm a curious individual who likes to solve problems, and I'm a people person. That's not feeding anybody. I want you to get to a point where all of the fruit starts to fall when you get so specific and feeding the people under your tree. So if you then go and say, you know what? When I was a kid, I really never had access to a computer, and I went to the library constantly because I was so interested in the freaking Internet. How could it get this information to me this fast? And so I ended up seeking more information about how a computer was actually built versus what was on it. And so I went and found myself a small computer that was broken, and then I figured out how to put it back together. And so, honestly, that's why I'm a computer scientist because I wanna know how to build the thing that changes people's lives. Why are you a curious person? You know? That is conviction in who you are in the beginning of personal branding and gives you answers that people will go, woah. I have a lot to feed on from that. Be a pollinator. Right? Allow all of these people and these bees to feed on all of the interesting things about you and allow them to see it so that they can feed everyone else around you and you can create an ecosystem and basically rewild everybody around you. Because who you are feeds how other people see you and then speak about themselves. And, god, if that is not the coolest thing in the world, all you need to do is think about how interesting you really are and actually think that it's interesting. Once you unlock that piece, all of these stories start to come out, and that's how you start. Bob
I love how visual that is, and I do think that is definitely the thing that people struggle with. Because I think people think of a brand as, you know, a LinkedIn headline or something on my, or a tagline on my website. And it sort of is it's outward facing. Like, what do I want people to to be saying about me when I'm not in the room? But I think the problem is if that's not aligned with, you know, your conviction and those trees you mentioned, then it's never really gonna feel like you. And by the way, it's not gonna stand out. It's gonna look like a million other LinkedIn taglines and a million other websites. Alyx
Hundred percent. You know? And you should have a damn forest at the end of this. Communicating is easier when you can understand yourself in a way that lights you up, not others. So think about you right now, then think about them. Bob
Tell me about the lessons from the river. You've mentioned this, and I have a feeling that could be a podcast, episode all on its own. But where did that come from, and what are their what are one or two of the big lessons that you recite most often? Alyx
I'm laughing. Oh my god. As somebody who teaches people how to fish, you know, fly fish, the biggest lesson from the river is knowing that you're probably not gonna come out with something, and that's okay. Because even if it's not a fish, you're gonna come out with something that is opposite of what you thought you were gonna actually come out with. Right? And so I teach people fishing is not catching, obviously. We've all heard that phrase. And so the first lesson is to actually understand how you walk in a river that's alive, that is raging in some capacities, has a current that you're not necessarily used to, how you read the water, you know, like, where are the pools where the fish live? There's a rock there. Why am I casting to a rock? Well, I mean, the fish go and they like to hang out in the cushion behind it. You know? And so the lessons here is, sure, it's about fishing, but it's all about how are you navigating an environment that you're not necessarily used to. If you're in a transition through a career, think of it like a river. Right? Okay. I'm gonna I wanna break into health tech. Where do I go? You know, how do I navigate, you know, some of the places and where do the where do the fish live? Where do the people live that I need to connect with? And so this is why I really center myself around nature and lessons from not just the river, but everywhere, pollination, rewilding yourself. It's because we all know what that is. It's just where you're gonna be able to connect the easiest because you experience it every day. And so if you could say, okay. You're gonna cast a line to a fish that you can't see. You're gonna put a job application out there or you're gonna throw out your name in the ring to get that promotion. You don't know if you're gonna get it or not. And so what you need to do is just always have it in the water. You can't catch anything if you're not casting. Again, there's so many lessons here, and I get real excited to talk about them. But this is why, you know, I say to people, hey. Do you wanna have a coaching lesson and then come out on the water with me? You know? Let's get you immersed in how to navigate change and development and transition. You know? And what better way to do that by getting out of the office and into nature or just thinking a little bit more about it so it relaxes you? Bob
There's so much about that that's amazing, Alex. And so I've had a fly fishing rod for a while. About I haven't done it this year, but last year, I went out on the ball diamond near in the park near where I live, and I had it all set up. And I, you know, I was practicing and watching YouTube videos and everything. I've only been out on the water once, and it I had line freaking wrapped around me. I was there was so much profanity, so much more frustrating than I thought. I know. You mentioned golf. It reminds me a little bit of golf, which I'm just starting to do, which is the absolutely like, it brings out the very worst in me. I threw a seven iron into the woods this weekend. Alyx
Oh, no. Bob
I don't know how to explain it. And people would look at, you know, me possibly as this confident person that's very calm and reserved. And man, golf, fishing, supposed to be these beautiful, connected, out in nature, relaxing experiences. Man, they bring out the fucking worst in me. I don't know how to explain it. Alyx
That's actually so funny. I I love that. I love that you're saying that, but you're like, fuck. I like, this is the worst experience. You know? And I've I've experienced that. I every time I'm out on the river, I'm swearing. I'm like, oh my god. Everybody thinks fly fishing is so, like, Brad Pitt, river runs through it. You know, we have other, like, spin cast anglers say that we're fairy fishers, and I'm like, okay. We are hauling ass upriver, like, five kilometers. We are out of breath trying to follow these stupid fish. You know? But when we talk about golf, you know, golf is something that I god. I I mean, I'm obsessed. You know? And I golfed fifteen years ago and then stopped because it was expensive, whatever. Picked up a club again and broke a hundred and ninety and eighty all in the same season. I was obsessed, and I was like, I hate this. I'm gonna beat it. You know? And much like you, I was getting really mad, and this is last year, you know, and frustrated and taking it way too seriously. And then all of a sudden this year, I've recognized that golf, I'm like, Alex, how good do you really think you are? You know, like, this game is meant to beat you. And as soon as I really discovered that, I was like, oh. And then I started turning into myself just a little bit more. And so now when I go onto the golf course, yeah, I get pissed if I chunk the shot because that is uncomfortable. But I love that I could just be with myself and think only about my own movements for eighteen holes. And I don't have to worry about anybody else. I could take note of what the wind is doing and that, oh my god. I'm so glad I'm on the fairway because it just feels so nice to stand on this solid ground, and it's so beautiful. Bob
I've got some work to do to get there, but, yeah, I'm not giving up. Tell me about one last one, last thing I would ask you about because you mentioned this to me last week, and I've kind of been obsessed about it. Tell me about mediocre Mondays. Alyx
Oh, I a lot of people tend to really love this. So okay. Alright. Everybody listening. Gather around the campfire. Let's talk about how you feel at a certain day of the week because I get triggered when somebody says, it's Monday. Like, you gotta go go go. Start the week and get your workout in, make a big breakfast, and you wanna, like, get that bread, man. Oh my god. I I stress out, and I think, fuck. I I am I am not a Monday person, and I had felt shame. I mean, raise your hand. Physically, raise your hand if you had felt shame for maybe not being the biggest Monday person. And so I ended up saying, fuck it. I want this to be what I'm gonna call a mediocre Monday. You know? I'm going to show up because you gotta show up, and then just decide what you feel like doing in that day. You know? Is it going to be a Monday where you're like, okay. I'm gonna get this, this, and this done because I feel like doing that, Or is it gonna be a little bit more mediocre? Is it gonna be a slower Monday? Is it gonna go, you know what? I'm gonna go for an extra long walk this morning. I don't have any pressing meetings. If you can, move meetings off of Mondays if you feel you might lean to be a little bit more mediocre, and then take the pressure off. You know? I I don't have to do anything that I don't wanna do on this day, especially if you're an entrepreneur or you're somebody who works, like, seven days a week nonstop. You have to gift yourself a day where it can be just a bit mediocre. People get so caught in the hustle culture and the grind. And, yes, you have to grind in order to get that job, get that bread, you know, get that client. You know? But is it something that you must do to the point of burnout, Or can you gift yourself a mediocre day where you can decide, you know what? I think this is a day that I need to just be. And it's it's helped a lot. It's it's helped a lot. And, Bob, you you were listening to me rant about it. You know? Has it has it helped you at all, or have you have you thought a little bit differently about how you set up your weeks if you take one day to be just maybe mediocre? Bob
The thing I liked about it was that I used to have a lot of even submediocre Mondays. So, you know, I've been sober for three years, and Mondays used to be rough. Right? Because back when I was drinking, I used to I had a few Sundays get away from me. And so Mondays, I would be like, oh, fuck. I'm just riddled with anxiety. I'd go for long walks. I'd cancel meetings, etcetera. And so when I quit, Mondays very quickly became, oh my god. This is is incredible. Like, I'm getting more done on Monday than I would an entire week. And I was, you know, kinda really leaning into that. Yeah. I was crushing. I was like, oh my god. I got more done by noon than I've usually get done by Thursday. And then your mediocre Mondays came along, and I was like, oh, yeah. Like, it doesn't have it's just a pendulum that has to come to rest somewhere between doing absolutely fuck all and watching Netflix on Mondays like I used to when I was hungover. Alyx
Yeah. Bob
And just, like, getting, like, you know, three weeks of work done in Monday because I could. It's like, no. I really like Alex giving me permission to just slow down a little bit. And so this last Monday, I might have overcorrected a little bit. I really did really did not much of anything, but it really felt great. And, and I think that's something that a lot of people would could really learn from. Alyx
See, what you just said there was so profound. Like, you know, maybe I overcorrected. I really didn't do that much, but it really felt great. You know? That's what you need. That's I it really felt great. My god. You know? Like, we are so everybody is all insane about, well, you know, what the market is doing and that it's so hard to get jobs or it's so hard to get promoted or I'm I'm just I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Help me. Help me. Everything is so expensive. I'm freaking out. The world's on fire. You know? It's like, okay. Everybody, chill. You know? Like, let's be mediocre today. Let's just be and do what we think we can do. It will change your life. It will make burnout feel like it's not burnout. You're just tired, but you're achieving. You know? And that that's okay to be. You could be tired and achieving. You don't have to be burned out all the time. Bob
Yep. I absolutely love that. So let me ask you, if you had a billboard, Alex, and a million people could see it and you could put anything on it, a meme, a saying, a picture for all those people to see, what would your billboard say? Alyx
Alright. Well, you know what? So everybody has probably heard of this film, but the book, Perks of Being a Wallflower, there was a line in that book that stuck with me forever, and I think it always will. We only accept the love we think we deserve. And, man, that stopped me in my tracks hard, you know, because it's love comes not just from romantic relationships or sexual or, you know, friendships. It it comes from deep within. You know? It comes from trying to find a career that is built for you, that you have crafted yourself. If you don't feel like you deserve any of that, then you're accepting less than, and I don't accept that for you. I want that phrase to be said about you because it starts with you accepting all of that love or all of that all of those compliments, all those things that are coming at you. And so I want you to stop and think. You know? Do I need to work on that? And if you do, then call me. I swear to god, just call me. You know? Because I can help you see how great you are and how connected you are to do the thing that you might love in the end. And so we only accept the love we think we deserve. And, man, often, I have to stop and think I'm pushing I'm pushing things away. I need to recalibrate. I do it all the time for myself because I'm constantly pushing things away. It will never stop, but if you recognize it, it will change fundamentally who you are and what you accept. Bob
Yeah. That's one of the best answers I've heard from the guests on this podcast. This is that was awesome. So, Alex, there's been so much of this conversation. I've been writing notes frantically. I love this idea of just saying, okay. I love the the y tree. I love the focus on the things that light you up so that you can light others up. There are other things as well. It's just been so awesome. And you mentioned that your love language is, you know, words of affirmation, and I just can't thank you enough for this. Every conversation we have, it just it really lights me up. It gives me hope. It's sort of like I wish I could live in this bubble that you create for people that makes them believe things about themselves that in a way that they really can feel that conviction you talk about. And, yeah, I hope everybody takes away as much from this conversation as I have, and I hope they reach out to you if they wanna learn more. Alyx
Well, thank you. You know, I've I'm accepting your words of affirmation and your compliment. You know? And I I hope that you see that you can live in that bubble because you are that bubble. You know? You are the energy in the room that people want to be around. You know? And if you think of it that way, that's the bubble. Allow people into it so that they can hang out with you. I honestly just think you're amazing. So thank you for having me on here. Bob
This has been awesome, Alex. Thank you so much. Hey. If they if people like what they've heard and they wanna learn more, where do they find you? Alyx
I am currently building up my website, so this is all exciting. It's gonna be wilder path dot co. But for right now, LinkedIn is where I am living. You can find me on LinkedIn at Alex Parks, Alex with a y, yes, that's me, at Wilder Path Coaching. You can also find me in my fly fishing adventures at Ontario Fly Girl on Instagram. This is where I post lots of fishy pics, but also just, you know, photographs, of my wildlife, and I have wildlife photography at earth alex dot com. I put myself in a bunch of different places. You know? But here's the thing. You can just find me, and you can reach out to me at any time. I wanna talk to you. I wanna help you see and envision a life of how you can carry yourself forward and just think I can do this, and I am very good at what I do. You know, that's the gift that you can give yourself and then to others, and you will make waves. And so we're always adventuring together, and I'm honored to be able to do that with you. So there you go. Bob
Amazing, Alex. I can't thank you enough for this. Amazing as always. I just loved it. Alyx
Thanks, Bob. You're the best. Bob
The Growth Mixtape podcast with Bob Mathers is produced by Bespoke Projects. Music by Shamitel Walter Cronkite. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to follow and rate us. When you do this, it helps to raise our podcast profile so that more people can find us. If you wanna connect, you can find me on LinkedIn using the link in the show notes. 
