Today we talk to Anne Bonney, speaker, author and self-described discomfort zone guide.
I loved this conversation because it pushed on something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. We hear all the time that growth happens outside our comfort zone, but Anne gives that idea a fresh twist. Instead of just leaving comfort, she talks about learning how to dance with discomfort — and more importantly, how to know when discomfort is helping us grow and when we’re just exhausting ourselves.
We talk about why hard things build self-trust, how the challenges we choose can prepare us for the ones life throws at us, and why confidence is really just evidence that we’ve survived difficult things before. We also get into silent retreats, relationships, leadership, and the stories we tell ourselves when change shows up uninvited.
This one was thoughtful, practical, and really fun.
Please enjoy, Anne Bonney.
Key Takeaways:
- Anne reframes the whole idea of a “comfort zone” by focusing instead on the discomfort zone — something we can move toward with curiosity instead of fear.
- Doing hard things builds self-trust. The more often we survive discomfort, the more evidence we have that we can handle what comes next.
- Not all discomfort is created equal. Sometimes growth means taking on a marathon or a big keynote, and sometimes it means having an honest conversation or asking for what you need.
- Comfort isn’t the enemy. It’s the place we rest so we can step back into challenge when we’re ready.
- Self-efficacy matters. Resilience grows when we believe there’s something we can do to improve our situation instead of waiting for life to magically get easier.
- Anne’s line, “thoughts are random, thinking is not,” is a powerful reminder that we don’t have to believe every story our brain tells us in moments of fear or uncertainty.
- The discomfort we choose can help prepare us for the discomfort we don’t choose — illness, grief, aging parents, relationship struggles, and all the other hard parts of life.
- Nobody else has it figured out, and you don’t have to do it alone. That might be the most comforting truth of all.
Connect with Bob Mathers
The Restless Leader Newsletter on Substack: https://bobmathers.substack.com/
Links & Resources
Anne Bonney website: https://yourchangespeaker.com/
Anne on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annebonney/
Anne’s TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/wSL6tVD__po?si=3xSBLDfCwTYUaTB7
Michael Easter, The Comfort Crisis
https://www.michaeleaster.com/the-comfort-crisis
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593138767
Vipassana meditation retreats
David Goggins
Tim Ferriss
